FIC: Why Do We Tear Each Other Apart?

[mpreg_fest_mod]

Title: Why Do We Tear Each Other Apart?
Author: essenity
Beta: A giant thank you to vix_spes and janejenajeny for all their hard work!
Prompt: #146, Draco and Harry have been married to each other for several years. Like all other ordinary couples, their marriage is now facing great challenges. The differences and conflicts between them become more and more apparent and they find it hard to compromise with each other anymore. At this turning point, *Harry* gets pregnant accidentally. It's not entirely impossible for wizards to get pregnant but it's rare indeed. Both Harry and Draco are not intended to have this child. They even can't find out the real cause of *Harry's* sickness at beginning. Will this child rescue their delicate marriage? Or will *Draco* think it a trick which *Harry* used to threaten him and their marriage crumble into dust in the end?
Word Count: 14,000
Rating: Borderline R/NC-17
Contains (Highlight to view): *this is an angry piece, fighting, mutual domestic violence, violence, angry sex, believed infidelity (not actual)*
Who is pregnant?: *Harry*
Epilogue compliant?: No way.
Notes: Along with prompter, special inspiration came from Eurovision's Emmelie de Forest's Only Teardrops.
Disclaimer: Harry Potter characters are the property of J.K. Rowling and Bloomsbury/Scholastic. No profit is being made, and no copyright infringement is intended.
Summary: Harry and Draco are both headstrong and this has led them to have a volatile marriage. They find it increasingly harder to compromise and their fights spring from old wounds. After an angry sex session, *Harry's* health mysteriously declines. When they find out the real cause, will this miracle pregnancy rescue their delicate marriage or will *Draco* believe it is a trick and let it destroy what's left of their marriage?

It was past midnight when Harry stumbled through the Floo into his living room. With any luck, his husband was already asleep. Quietly, Harry started unclasping the buckles of his Auror uniform. Just as he reached the last one, a cold voice caused Harry to snap his head towards the doorway.

"Where the fuck have you been?" Draco's arms were crossed and his face was dark.

"Draco! What are you doing, hiding in the dark?" Harry shrugged off his robes.

"Pick up your damn robes, Potter!" Draco snapped. Harry sighed and with a flick of his wand, the robes disappeared. He walked towards Draco and tried to give him a kiss. At first, Draco stepped backwards but Harry just pulled Draco into a hug. "You're late, Potter!" Draco pushed Harry away. "You fucking promised! This is the fifth fucking year in a row! Do you even know why I wanted you home on time?"

Harry sighed. "Draco, don't be like this. I'm sorry."

"No, you're not!" Draco marched away towards the kitchen. "You're not fucking sorry. We've been over this before. Hundreds of times! If you're going to be late, send me a damn message!"

"We were on a stakeout!" Harry shouted at Draco's back as he stormed after him into the kitchen. "What do you expect me to do? Whip out my really big, really white and really obvious owl?"

"Then send a Patronus!" Draco pulled out something from the Muggle oven and slammed the door. It wasn't something he used other than to store things.

"My Patronus was off calling for backup!" Harry snapped as he watched Draco flick his wand. Cutlery flew dangerously out of drawers towards Harry. The drawers slammed shut and the cutlery stopped just short of stabbing Harry in the head. They dropped into Harry's hands.

Draco walked around the kitchen counter and slammed something onto the table. From the tin foiling, and round plate, Harry realised it was probably his dinner.

"Then send a fucking text! You even made me get one of those stupid Muggle phones. What's the fucking point if you don't use it?!" Draco pointed his wand at Harry's dinner, presumably to heat it up.

"Don't bother, I'm not hungry." Harry muttered.

"Harry Potter!" Draco pointed his wand at Harry. "You will sit the fuck down and eat. I don't care if you're not hungry. I waited for you. I waited five fucking years for you and every fucking year you're late. Without fail! You do know that we're married, right? You'd think it would fucking kill you to have dinner with your husband on your anniversary."

Harry sighed and pulled the plate of food and stabbed at it with the cutlery. He stared stubbornly at the table and shoved a bite into his mouth. A few minutes of silence passed and Harry continued shoving food into his mouth.

"For fuck's sake!" Draco suddenly snapped. "I can't even!" He cut off and let out a growl before stomping out of the kitchen. Harry chewed the food in his mouth and listened to Draco's footsteps echoing down the hall into their bedroom. A loud slam followed and then silence.

The next morning, warm, bright rays of sun woke Harry. He groaned and covered his face with his hands as he turned over. When his hands slumped back to the bed, he felt nothing but a cold space. His eyes shot open. Draco wasn't next to him. For a moment, he felt panic. Harry usually woke before Draco due to his work hours. Draco couldn't have left, right? He wouldn't sneak out in the middle of the night! Harry flung away the covers and hurriedly pulled on a robe. When he reached the kitchen, he relaxed at the sight of Draco sitting at the dining table. His back was facing him but Harry could see breakfast had been prepared. He walked to the table and sat down opposite his husband. Draco was sipping something from a mug; his face was hidden behind the Daily Prophet.

"Morning," Harry said nervously. When Draco didn't answer, Harry pulled his plate of food towards him and started eating. Bacon, eggs, hash browns, sausages… Harry felt uneasy. Draco only prepared elaborate meals when he was upset. Upon finishing his meal, there was a rustling. Harry swallowed his last bite and set the cutlery down gently before looking up at Draco.

He winced at what he saw. Draco was avoiding his gaze, but Harry could see the puffy, red eyes. Draco never cried. Harry cleared his throat. "Draco, are you okay?" Harry watched as Draco brought a hand up to his face and covered his mouth. Harry could see him swallowing.

A moment passed before Draco let his hand fall onto the table. He turned his head and looked at Harry directly in the eyes. "Is there somebody else?" Draco whispered hesitantly.

Harry stared back in shock. "What?"

"Is there somebody else? Are you sleeping with somebody else? Are you coming back home late because you're fucking someone else? Is someone fucking you over your desk at the Office?"

"What?!" Harry shouted. "No! How could you even think that?!" Harry jumped to his feet in his defence. They both cringed at the sound of the chair screeching against the floor."

"I think it because you haven't come home before midnight for the past two months!" Draco shouted. "You haven't let me touch you for nearly half a year!"

"I've told you!" Harry shouted back. "We're on a big case! We've been on stakeouts almost every night! Then we need to debrief back at the office, it's not my fault Dark Wizards like to play at night! You should know!" Harry regretted it the second those words left his mouth. "Draco! I'm sorry! I didn't mean it!"

"Oh yeah? Like that time you didn't mean to slash me open in the bathroom?" Draco snarled back.

"Goddamnit, Draco!" Harry threw his arms up in the air in defeat.

"I see," Draco said calmly before picking up Harry's dishes and flicking them to the sink with his wand. The sponge danced up and the water started running. "You're just being fucked by some Good Wizard at the Office."

"That's not what I meant!" Harry shouted at Draco's retreating back. "Draco! Don't you dare walk away! You always walk out on me!" A loud smash sounded through the air. The plate in the sink had smashed itself into bits. "Well, fuck you, too!" Harry yelled in the direction Draco had left in. "I don't have to explain myself! I didn't do anything wrong!"

-----

It was nearing the end of the day when Harry crouched low in the wispy green grass. On his right, his Auror partner hissed at him, "Harry! We've gotta get closer!"

The air around them was warm and surged with dark magic. Harry clutched his robes closer and peeked over the grass. The wooden barn was another couple hundred metres away, but there was no guarantee they could reach the doors without being detected. "We need backup."

Ron stared back incredulously. "For this? You've charged forward blindly with much less before!"

Harry sighed and looked up at the sky. The sun was setting and the horizon was smeared in an angry orange. If they called for backup, he'd be late home and Draco would be mad. If they charged in now and things went wrong, Draco would be mad for being called to St Mungo's later.

"This is it, Harry!" Ron urged. Harry could hear the pressure in Ron's voice. It was laced with excitement and an unmistakable level of self-confidence. Arrogance could be a Dark Wizard's greatest downfall. It could also be an Auror's greatest downfall. This was it. Harry knew. They'd spent months searching for traces of this magical signature and even more months running, chasing, spinning into dead ends, turning up to murder scenes. They were at the edge, Harry could feel it. His whole team could feel it. They were so close; they could almost reach out and grasp the sweet victory.

"No, we wait for back up." Harry reaffirmed. "Because this is it, Ron. If we fuck it up, that's it. We can't fuck this up." Harry flicked his wand and sent his Patronus to call for backup.

The sun set quicker than expected and the air chilled around them. The sounds of night insects started and Harry looked up at the clear black sky. Not a single star. Great. A gentle pop in the distance sounded, followed by another one closer to his position then another and another. Finally, backup! It took less than two minutes for his team to fall into formation and another two had the barn surrounded securely. With a nod and wave of his wand, Harry gave the signal and his team stormed the barn and was instantly enveloped in darkness.

When Harry woke, he let out a string of curses. His entire team had walked into a trap.

"Good, you're awake." Harry's head snapped to the right just as Draco stood. He reached for a clipboard that was floating at the end of Harry's bed and a quill appeared out of thin air. Draco snatched it and signed the clipboard furiously. When he finished with an angry flourish, he flung the clipboard to the floor. It disappeared with a small pop before it hit the floor.

Draco turned around and walked towards the door.

"Draco, wait!" Harry pulled himself out of bed.

"What for?" Draco snarled. "You're completely fine! The Healers said you are free to go as soon as you regained consciousness. Go, Potter. Go and debrief. I'm not waiting till past midnight here."

Draco stormed through the halls and Harry chased after him. "Wait!" Harry shouted.

Draco ignored him and stomped straight into the Floo Network and disappeared with a puff of green smoke.

Harry followed and when he stumbled into their living room, Draco was pacing in front of him, his arms clutched around his torso with a livid expression on his face.

"Draco, I'm sorry!" Harry pleaded. "I waited for backup, we thought this was it! Ron wanted to just storm in and-"

"Well, I'm fucking glad that for once in your life, you didn't listen to that idiot you call a friend!"

"Don't talk about my best friend like that!"

Draco stopped suddenly and looked away. "This is why I won't have kids with you."

"What? Because I called Ron my best friend?!" Harry looked scandalized.

"This is why!" Draco shouted. "You clearly love your job more than your life! I can't just sit at home and look after your spawn while I wait for you to come home! I won't sit here and wait for news of your death. I won't raise a child by myself!"

"You won't be! I'll be here!"

"Like hell you will!" Draco pointed at Harry accusingly. "You're the one with the life threatening job; I'm the one who works from home! Who the fuck else will raise it? What, were you actually thinking of taking my heir into the field? Fuck you!"

"Don't make that about my job!" Harry shouted back, he could feel the anger pooling in his stomach. Magic surged around them and the room darkened dangerously.

"Why not? It's always about your job!" Draco retorted. "Every fucking night! I'm either waiting for you to stumble back past midnight or I'm waiting for St Mungo's to Floo me! I can't stand this! You're the one who wants kids so desperately, so you change your job! Quit it and get a fucking desk job if you must work! I refuse to be a single parent!"

"Why, because you're afraid of turning out like yours?" Something exploded in the background and Harry flinched. He knew he had gone too far with that, but he wasn't going to apologise.

"My parents were better than your relatives!" Draco snarled. "They love me. They were always home!"

"Yeah, so much so, your father brought his job back with him and your mother just stayed silent!" With that, something else in another room exploded. The anger-fuelled magic was swirling dangerously around them.

"You leave my mother out of this!" Draco lunged forward and grabbed Harry by the front of his robes. "She's been nothing but accommodating to you!" Draco gave a punch and Harry allowed his fist to connect to his face.

"She's been putting ideas in your head!" Harry grabbed Draco by the shoulders to keep him at arm's length. "She's the one, right? She's the one who's suggesting I'm cheating on you?"

"Aren't you?" Draco snarled.

"I'm not the one who's brought my work into our house!" Together, they struggled and tumbled to the floor.

"You're the one who insisted I should move my Potions Lab in here!" Draco yelled as he shook Harry by the shoulders. "You're the one! You said my hours were too long, if I worked from home, we would be able to see each other more often! What's the fucking point when you don't even come home?!"

"It's just for this case!" Harry grabbed Draco's hair and yanked him down. They rolled and struggled against each other on the thick carpet.

"It's been for every damn case since we got married!" With a final growl, Draco won and used his weight to anchor Harry against the floor.

"For fuck's sake, Draco! You're starting to sound exactly like Ginny!"

"Don't compare me to the bitch who fucked her best friend the night before you two were to get married!"

From his position, Harry could see Draco's eyes glistening and he felt his heart break. Harry reached up and caressed Draco's face. "I'm sorry, Draco. I'm sorry." Harry could feel waves of unsettled magic rolling off Draco's body and he could see conflicting emotions on Draco's face. Anger was one emotion he recognised. It was the way Draco's jaw was tensed. Sadness was another obvious emotion, shown by the slight dip in the corner of Draco's mouth. But Harry couldn't break eye contact. There was something in Draco's eyes that Harry hadn't seen in years. It was the same look he saw in the mirror when he walked into the bathroom in sixth year. And for the second time that night (although out of different contexts), Harry thought, this was it. This was the time to make a choice and act.

"Let's not." Harry gripped a handful robes at Draco's shoulder and pulled him down. "Don't fight this." Harry gave an encouraging look when Draco resisted. Harry knew how Draco felt at this moment. He understood the absolute loss of control when emotions became overwhelming. "Kiss me, Draco."

Draco looked hesitant and then suddenly he plunged down and shoved his tongue into Harry's mouth. It wasn't a kiss. Not if they kissed with teeth biting and smashing against each other. Not if with every growl and every bite, both of them are fighting for control.

Their clothing disappeared and Harry started rocking his hips against Draco's body. Harry's hand reached down and grabbed his own cock. Draco nudged Harry's legs apart and reached down to lift one to prop up on his shoulder. Harry pumped furiously. Draco's hand joined his and within seconds, he released hot bursts into Draco's hand.

Draco pulled away and licked his swollen lips. They could both taste the coppery tinge of blood. "I'm going to fuck you." Draco smeared Harry's semen onto his own cock and angled it against Harry's hole. For a second, they both froze. Draco had never neglected to prepare Harry before tonight.

"It's okay." Harry gave a nod and closed his eyes. He nudged his hips as encouragement and Draco pushed forward. At first, it felt unfamiliar, and there was a searing pain. Harry let out a hiss and his grip on Draco's arms tightened.

Draco stopped pushing and Harry opened his eyes. Draco had a pained expression on his face and in that second, Harry felt his anger boil. He wanted Draco to hurt him because he knew, that would be the worst punishment for Draco. "Do it, Draco. Fuck me. Fuck me hard. Do it!"

Draco clenched his eyes shut and started thrusting. It was the worst sex they had ever participated in. Full of anger, sweat and by the end, Harry watched with blurred vision as Draco orgasmed inside Harry before slumping over. They didn't pull apart, instead, they gripped each other in arms and clutched tightly. Draco was crying.

When the sobbing ceased and the apologies died, they pulled apart and Draco helped Harry to his feet. Pain shot through Harry's body and Draco's heart when they both eyed the blood on the white carpet.

Draco looked horrified, "Harry… Oh fuck, what did I do? Harry, I'm-"

Harry pulled Draco into a hug. "Don't apologise. I wanted you to. Let's stop making this so hard between us. I don't want to fight anymore."

-----

"For fuck's sake, Draco! Where the fuck did you put my fucking uniform?" Harry was half submerged in a wooden trunk, occasionally chucking stuff to the ground behind him. He had already gone through the drawers and the magically enhanced trunk was proving to be pointless. Harry straightened up just as Draco walked through the doors. Harry saw the disapproving glance and he knew they were going to fight.

Draco scowled and rubbed the bridge of his nose. "You didn't have to trash the damn room. What are you looking for?"

"I wouldn't have had to do anything if you didn't move my crap around!" Harry retorted.

Draco's eyes narrowed dangerously, "I wouldn't move your crap around if you didn't leave them discarded and dirty on the fucking floor!"

"You always do this! I don't fucking ask you to pick up after me!" Harry stormed to the wardrobe and flung it open.

"You're the one who insisted we didn't use house elves!" Draco snapped and marched up behind Harry. "Move!" Draco shoved Harry aside and walked into the wardrobe. "What the fuck are you looking for?"

"Don't make this my fault! I can find my own shit!" Harry made an attempt to pull Draco out of the way.

"Why the fuck did you call me then?" Draco gave Harry's chest a push. "Just tell me what you're looking for!"

"Goddamnit Draco! My uniform! Where is it?" Harry demanded. "The formal one for parades."

Draco rolled his eyes and disappeared into the wardrobe. Harry could hear him muttering to himself, "Fucking idiot, should fucking do your own washing. If you're not going to wear it, then don't fucking leave it lying around."

"Jesus fucking Christ!" Harry punched the wall and something flung out to him from inside the wardrobe. Upon catching it, Harry realized it was what he was looking for. "Well, thank you." He snarled as he pulled it on then stormed out of the house.

Draco emerged from the wardrobe with a scowl on his face. He had hoped the truce between them would last longer than a few weeks. Unfortunately, by the looks of things, he could forget about it.

The fighting continued and escalated until one day Harry stormed out of the house and didn't return until St Mungo's fire-called Draco.

Draco had stormed into the hospital in a rage but the look on Ron's face stopped him cold. That look was never good; Draco had seen that same look too many times during the war. It made Draco's skin crawl and it made his blood stop flowing. He felt as if blood was flowing from his brain. "No… please don't tell me…"

"Harry's fine!" Ron said softly. "He fainted. But we don't know what's wrong with him so we're pretty worried."

"He fainted?" Draco repeated.

"Yeah, no idea why. It was just supposed to be a routine check. But as soon as we got there, he dropped to the ground. Dead faint. So I abandoned the mission and Apparated back here."

"Mr Malfoy?" A Healer moved forward into Draco's line of vision. "I'm Healer Walker. Auror Potter is awake now. Would you like to see him?"

Draco nodded and allowed himself to be led into his husband's room. The walls were stark white and the windows were barred shut. It was hardly a step up from prison, in Draco's opinion. Draco looked at the figure lying beneath the white hospital blankets. He could just make out Harry's messy back hair but he had trouble distinguishing Harry's pale face from the sheets. Draco moved closer and sat on the chair next to the bed. He slipped his hands under the covers and intertwined his fingers with Harry's. "Harry?" Draco whispered.

Harry let out a moan in reply.

"Are you hurt?"

"There's nothing wrong with him," The Healer spoke up from behind Draco. "We couldn't find anything particularly alarming. Perhaps it was stress induced? We thought it was low blood sugar. Sometimes fainting could happen after Apparition when one hasn't had a meal. But his Auror partner swore he had food just half an hour ago."

"Nothing wrong?" Draco repeated. His voice sounded higher than normal. "He's barely conscious! Look at him!" he demanded. "He's hardly responsive!"

"I'm just tired," Harry murmured weakly.

A younger Healer walked into the room and handed Healer Walker a piece of parchment. "Ahh, well that's fixable." With a flick of his wand, a vial appeared in his hands. He handed it to the younger Healer. "Administer that to Auror Potter, please."

Draco drew in a sharp breath as he watched his husband swallow the potion weakly before slumping back into the pillow.

"Anaemia," Healer Walker explained. "That's the only thing wrong that I can see. Lower counts than usual but should be fine with that Replenishing Potion. He'll be good to go in about ten minutes. I suggest taking the rest of the day off, though."

The Healer was wrong. It took half an hour before Harry was functional enough to get out of bed. Draco had to support his weak husband all the way home, where Harry just collapsed back into bed. Harry slept through the night, as Draco was unable to wake him for dinner.

It was unnerving for Draco. He knew exactly how that potion worked; it had a maximum wait time of twenty minutes before effects kicked in almost instantaneously. Harry shouldn't have felt exhausted just by getting out of bed. Draco paced the room in front of their bed where Harry was sleeping. It just didn't make sense! Draco chewed at his nails anxiously, a truly disgusting habit he picked up during the Dark Lord's reign. A growing sense of guilt was gnawing inside him. Had they gone too far? Was this stress induced? Where did Harry disappear off to for the past few days?

Before he knew it, warm golden rays seeped through the curtains and lit their bedroom. The birds started chirping and a rumble by the early morning public transport passed their house. Harry shifted slightly and Draco paused. Harry shifted again and called for Draco. "Draco, can you please call in sick for me? My head hurts like fuck." Before Draco could reply, Harry drifted back to sleep.

It was past noon when Harry walked out of the bedroom into the kitchen. A grin was plastered onto his face as he gathered Draco's anxious frame in his arms and planted a kiss on Draco's lips. "Thanks. I really needed that sleep."

Draco looked at Harry anxiously. "Was that really all? You really only needed sleep?"

Harry grabbed a pear out of their fruit basket and bit into it. "Yeah, I haven't had such a long sleep in months!"

The hours passed slowly and Draco, as sleepy and exhausted as he was, didn't dare leave Harry's side on the couch in the living room. He was sure Harry would faint again as soon as he let him out of his sight. So he just sat there thinking and analysing all the possible reasons for fainting. Harry passed the afternoon hours without leaving the couch. He curled up beside Draco to read the day's newspaper and then he read the trashy magazine that came with it. As he read further, he sank lower onto the couch until his head lay on Draco's lap.

They passed the hours listening to Harry turning the crisp pages and the noise from outside. From their position, Draco could just see the top of the trees swaying with the wind. Occasionally a soft squeal of laughter made it through their windows from across the road. As the night approached, and the traffic started building up, the sounds of stalling engines and honks increased and Draco let his fingers comb gently through Harry's hair and watched as he closed his eyes to let sleep envelop him again.

Draco levitated Harry into bed and went about his chores almost absentmindedly. When dinner was prepared, Draco found himself shaking Harry to no effect. "Harry! Wake up! You've got to eat something! Wake up!"

Harry let out a moan and slapped Draco's arms away. "Leave me be, Draco. I'm not hungry."

"Fine! But at least drink this potion!"

Making Harry take the potion had calmed Draco's nerves enough to let him fall into a deep slumber that night. Nothing plagued his mind; no terrifying nightmares about death and abandonment, but also no serene dreams filled with love and security. If there was anything that flickered behind Draco's closed eyes and danced through his resting mind, it would have been an image of a world, black and still with no light and no noise. A dark but calm world tainted by no past but held no hope for the future: no gentle breeze, no light and no passing time. In this still darkness, Draco could feel no fear. He was not enveloped in anxiety and he was not drowning in the unknown. It was peaceful until the desperate pleas of his husband pierced his quiet world.

Draco opened his eyes to a dark room and heavy panting beside him.

"Draco!" Harry's desperate pleas jerked Draco alert and in an instant, the room was filled with light. Draco knelt beside his husband. Harry was curled on his side, clutching his stomach. His skin had a layer of sweat, his face pale and his eyes unfocused. "Help me, Draco!"

Fear and anxiety filled Draco's chest as he grabbed his wand and cast simple diagnostic spells on Harry. There was nothing wrong with his husband, except for the panting and the swearing and the gasping in agonizing pain. "Harry! What's wrong? Look at me! Harry!" Draco shook his husband's shoulders and forced Harry's face upwards.

"It hurts, Draco! It hurts!" Harry murmured and Draco feared Harry would slip into unconsciousness.

"What hurts? What? Harry, tell me!"

"The potion you gave me. It hurts!"

Draco jumped out of bed and ran to his lab. It made no sense, that potion wouldn't cause side effects like this. It was a simple one, made of natural ingredients that were completely fine for human consumption, even for Muggles. Regardless, Draco flung open the doors to his storage and snatched up three of the purple vials that held a dose of Purging Potion. In an instant, he was back on the bed and forcing the potion down Harry's throat.

"Swallow it! Damnit, Harry! Focus!" Most of the first vial ended up on the floor and half of the second ended up down Harry's nightshirt, but finally, with the third vial, Draco managed to get Harry to swallow enough. He let the empty vials fall to the bed and summoned the Muggle lamp. Draco managed to transfigure it into a large plastic bowl just in time to shove it under Harry's face to catch the vomit. Harry vomited and spluttered until he choked and heaved. When he was sure there was no more to come, Draco let Harry fall back against the bed so he could inspect the contents of the bowl. It was a mixture of potions and bile; under the transparent bile, he could make out the thick purple potion he had just made Harry swallow. Around it, coagulated bits of the orange Supplement Potion shinned. It was completely undigested, despite having already been in Harry's system for a few hours. Draco levitated the bowl gently onto the night stand and turned his attention to Harry's slumped form beside him.

"Harry!" Draco put a hand on Harry's shoulder and waited until Harry turned to look directly at him. Already, Draco could see a difference. Harry's face was no longer pale, a bit of colour tinged his cheeks. Harry's green eyes were clear and focused and a grin seemed to be itching to show. "We have to go to the hospital!"

"No, I'm fine now, Draco." Harry said gently. "Sorry for worrying you. I must have had a bad reaction to your earlier potion."

"My potions don't cause crippling pain!" Draco cried. "They were just supplements! Like those Muggle vitamins you mentioned once! It's practically harmless!"

"No, I'm fine now!" Harry insisted. "I'm not in pain anymore, there's no need to trouble the hospital. Relax, Draco."

"Harry, we have to go to the hospital! We've got to find out what's wrong!" Draco urged.

"We just came from there! They said nothing's wrong with me!"

"There's clearly something wrong!" Draco snapped. Then instantly, his tone changed. "Oh please, Harry, I don't want to fight about this. Please, just listen to me. Just once, Harry."

Harry shook his head. "I'm too tired, Draco. Look, if I'm worse tomorrow morning, I'll go. But please, let's just sleep."

"Harry…" Draco pressed.

"For fuck's sake, would you shut up?!" Harry snapped from under the covers. "I'm fucking tired, stop being such a nag and just let me sleep!"

It took a while before Draco finally relented and the two of them settled back down in darkness. Harry drifted into a comfortable sleep while Draco fell into a fitful one.

To Draco's utter dismay, Harry was completely fine in the morning. His energy levels were normal and so was his appetite. Harry was completely fine throughout that day, and also the next day. Harry returned to work following the weekend and was completely fine the first day. And the second, and the third, and the day after that and the day after that and there was nothing left to worry about. Days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months. Just as he found himself relaxing, Harry returned home one day to a house filled with delicious aromas. Instead of seeking out what was cooking in the kitchen, he had instantly rushed to the bathroom and retched and heaved.

The peace that occurred was short lived. By the beginning of the third month after Harry's first fainting incident, Draco found himself on the receiving end of Harry's yelling. As if set on automatic retaliation, Draco yelled back and soon, they were arguing with each other from opposite sides of the room. The walls shook and the windows rattled. Storage doors slammed and when the Muggle light fixtures finally exploded from the uncontrolled angry magic, they both stopped shouting and suddenly, Draco couldn't remember why they were arguing.

A long moment of silence passed as the two caught their breath and gathered their thoughts. Draco was the first to speak. "Harry, we had rules. Do you remember them?"

Harry nodded. "I do. We promised to leave the past behind us."

"We had rules when we first started. I wouldn't bring up Sectumsempra and you-"

"I wouldn't bring up your history with Voldemort. I wouldn't talk shit about your parents." Harry started walking towards Draco but Draco backed up against the wall.

"And I wouldn't about the Weasley's." Draco replied. "I wouldn't… use your job against you."

"We wouldn't." Harry corrected when he came to a stop in front of Draco. "We wouldn't put our jobs before our relationship." Harry was standing so close; Draco could feel his magical aura. It was calming, soothing – something he hadn't felt in years. He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply. Inside his head, he could feel the exact reason why he had fallen in love with Harry and at that moment, he knew that he was still in love. Draco relaxed against the wall and let Harry gather him up in a tight hug. "I'm sorry."

"How many times do we have to break the rules, Harry?" Draco whispered. "How many times do we have to fight about the same stupid shit? I'm terrified, Harry. Every time you leave this house, I think it's the last time I'll see you again. I get that same feeling I got when I watched you walk out of Hogwarts and into that fucking forest. You're not even going to duel the Dark Lord but I'm terrified. To top it off, you're sick, Harry. Open your damn eyes, you're sick! You're tired all the time and you keep throwing up!"

They stayed in embrace for a long while before Harry finally said, "I'll put in a transfer tomorrow."

Despite his words, the transfer didn't happen instantly. The department leader insisted that Harry stay on until the end of the current case. Without consulting Draco, Harry agreed and decided against sharing details with his husband. There was no reason to, that is, until Harry fainted again and as a result was hit by a hex that landed him in a hospital bed again.

Harry opened his eyes to a livid Draco and his first instinct was to groan.

"I can't fucking believe this!" Draco shouted the instant he saw Harry's eyes flicker open. "How long did you plan to continue lying to me?"

"Draco, it's not like that!" Harry sat up and nursed the bruise on his shoulder. Every part of him felt fixed and fine so he got out of bed and hobbled over to pull his robes on.

"You fucking promised me, Potter!" Draco spat. "You said you were going to transfer! That was two fucking weeks ago!"

"Draco, please, calm down." Harry clasped the final buckle of his uniform tight and straightened his back.

"No! I will not calm down!" Draco yelled. "I'm going home. You can fend for yourself. Don't you dare come back until you sort your shit out. And see a fucking Healer about your puking. There's something obviously wrong with you. My potions or my cooking have never caused anyone to vomit as violently as you do." With a whirl of his robes, Draco strode out the door straight to the Floo.

Draco was home for less than forty minutes when their fireplace burst into bright green flames and Harry stumbled in through the fireplace. Draco was still fuming so he got to his feet and pointed a finger accusingly at Harry. "I thought I forbade you from coming home until you got your shit sorted!"

"Draco, please." Harry started, "I have something to tell you."

"Have you sorted out your shit?" Draco hissed. His eyes were narrowed and his stance was defensive, but Draco could still make out the tinge of sickly green on Harry's face, which was strangely pale.

"Not exactly, but…" Harry replied truthfully but was cut off before he could elaborate.

"Then I don't want to hear it!" Draco spun around to storm away.

"Draco please," Harry pleaded, his posture stiff and his face was twisted with emotion. "Look at me, please."

Draco didn't turn around. The anger coiling in the pit of his stomach made his spine harden. He feared if he turned around now and looked his husband in the eye, he might just chuck a vase at Potter's head. His mother's prized vase, the one she gifted them on their wedding day.

"Draco please," Harry made a choked sound and Draco fought against his instinct to turn around. He knew that sound. It was the same sound Harry made before he started crying.

"Why, Potter?" Draco snapped. "So you can lie to my face? Fuck you!"

"I saw a Healer! I'm pregnant!" Harry roared.

Draco whirled around, his mouth was slack with disbelief but his eyes gleamed with anger. "You're lying!"

"I'm not!" Harry glared, but Draco could see the tears in Harry's eyes.

"Don't you fucking lie to me!" Draco strode across the room and gripped Harry by the front of his robes. "Who gave you that idea, Potter?" Draco slammed Harry against the wall and a flicker of pain and anger crossed Harry's face. "Seriously! Was it Granger? Was it Blaise? Who was it, Potter?!"

"I'm not lying!" Harry shouted back. "I'm almost four months pregnant! You should know better, you fucking Pureblood! You know Wizards can get pregnant!" Harry's hand came up to grab Draco's hair in an attempt to pull him off.

"Only if they are in love!" Draco roared.

A long moment of silence passed; their heavy breathing filled the room. The sounds of Muggle cars outside the window and the faint giggles of children playing at the park across the road seeped in through the closed windows.

"You don't love me anymore?" Harry whispered, his tears finally falling.

"I do!" Draco insisted. "But you, you, Potter, I don't believe you love me anymore."

Upon hearing that, Harry pulled Draco's face closer and kissed him fiercely. Teeth and fingers gripped hard, growls rumbled from their throats and Draco could taste the tears. With the last of his self-control, Draco wrenched away and pushed Harry hard against the wall. "I don't fucking believe you!" Draco turned and started to walk away. Harry lunged forward and grabbed Draco's arm. "Leave me alone!" Draco roared and continued walking, Harry dragged behind him.

"Where are you going?!" Draco didn't have to turn around to know Harry's eyes would be wide in panic, pleading and filled with fear. It was the same voice Harry used after his nightmares.

"Leaving, Potter," Draco snarled and reached for the door. "I can't even look at you anymore!"

"No!" Harry dug his heels into the carpet and pulled. "You're not leaving! Please, Draco! Please! Talk to me!"

"Let go of me, Potter!" In a fit of rage, Draco turned and shoved against Harry's shoulders, ripping his arm out of Harry's grasp. Harry stumbled and fell to the floor. For a second, Harry didn't move and Draco felt a surge of fear. Harry rolled to his side and with a groan, he propped himself up on his hands and knees. Draco eyed Harry with a look of uncertainty, the tinge of fear increased when Harry brought a hand to his stomach and moaned in pain.

No. Draco couldn't allow himself to be tricked. With a final glare, he turned around and opened the door.

"Draco!" Harry shouted from his hunched position on the floor. "Why won't you believe me?"

"Because, that's the same advice my mother gave me to lure you back into our fucking marriage," Draco spat and without turning around, he walked out the door and Disapparated from their home.

-----

Like a coward, Draco returned to his childhood home. He tried retreating to his room without bringing attention to himself but as soon as he crossed the foyer and stepped on the stairs, his mother's gentle voice caught him. He turned around guiltily but with just one look, Narcissa strode across the foyer and pulled him into a tight hug.

"Oh my dear dragon," she breathed. "Tell Mummy what's wrong?"

Her use of his pet name was the final straw and in horror, Draco felt the padlock on his emotions shatter. The gates fell away as he sank to the floor in his mother's arms and sobbed into her chest. "I don't know how long I can do this!" Draco cried. "He's lying to me, Mother! My husband is lying to me! I can't stand this anymore! I'm so tired of arguing."

"Draco, everyone argues." Narcissa started stroking his hair like she used to do when he was a child.

"You never argued with Father!"

"Oh Draco, I did. We fought all the time, but we worked it out. You have to learn to compromise."

Draco only sobbed louder and Narcissa sighed. "Tell me, why do you think he's lying?"

"He just told me he's pregnant."

A short silence followed as his mother tried to gather the right words. "Surely, Draco, you can't be questioning paternity..."

Draco didn't reply.

"Don't be a fool, Draco." His mother's voice was instantly sharp. "You should know better than anyone. Male pregnancy is rare and it's only possible when both sides love each other." His mother pulled away and looked him in the eyes, "Can't you see? You're tearing each other apart. You've only got yourselves to blame." Narcissa stroked Draco's hair and pulled him closer. "Hush now, my darling. Just apologise to him."

Draco ceased his crying and pulled himself up. He bid his mother good night and headed to his room. It had been quite a while since he slept at the Manor. He couldn't bring himself to face Harry yet. In fact, by the second night, Draco was still sulking in his room. On the morning of the third day, his mother managed to coax Draco out to the dining hall. His father was sitting in his usual chair at the head of the table, his head buried in the newspaper. Just as Draco sat down, his father made a disgusted sound and threw down the paper in front of Draco, causing him to jump.

"Explain yourself!" Lucius roared and Draco swallowed before picking up the paper.

As he read the offending piece, he felt the blood rushing from his head and fear tightened his chest. It was an article speculating Harry Potter's sudden hospitalization from a near miscarriage after a violent domestic row with husband of five years. Said husband, Draco Malfoy could not be found for interview.

"Oh Merlin, no..." Draco finally managed. "I can't believe this. What have I done?"

"Please," Lucius hissed. "Do tell. Is it true?"

"I don't know..." Draco replied weakly as he looked at his father in fear.

"You don't know what, boy?!" The tone of his father's voice was dangerously low. Draco hadn't heard it since the days the Dark Lord resided in this mansion. "You don't know your husband is pregnant with my grandchild or you don't know if you inflicted domestic abuse upon your pregnant husband?"

"I thought he was lying!" Draco exclaimed.

Lucius slammed a fist against the table. "How in the world does one lie about male pregnancy?! It's practically impossible for Wizards to fall pregnant to someone other than their spouse! How dare you shrink away from responsibility!"

"No! It's not what you think!" Draco got to his feet. He was shaking now. "Harry and I have been arguing a lot recently..."

"Stop with your excuses! How dare you have me find out of my grandchild from a newspaper! And to think you raised a hand at your pregnant husband! How utterly shameful!"

"You hated him! You warned me against marrying Harry!"

"Harry is now carrying my grandchild!" Lucius slammed his fist on the table again.

Draco drew in a sharp breath; his father has never addressed Harry by name or acknowledged ties.

"Tell me, Draco, did you raise a hand?" The expression on his father's face sent fear through Draco. He had not seen that expression since the Dark Lord ruled this house. "Speak the truth!" Lucius demanded when he saw Draco's hesitation.

"I pushed him."

Lucius let out a strange noise and brought his hand to cover his face.

Draco opened his mouth but his father was quick to recover.

"Don't you dare talk back!" Lucius snapped his fingers and a house elf popped in with a travel cloak. He put it on and looked at his wife. She was already dressed. "Draco Malfoy," Lucius spat, "you are not to leave this Manor."

"Where are you going?!"

"To see my son-in-law and fix your actions." He held out a hand and Narcissa slipped hers in his.

"Wait! I have to go see him!" Draco grasped his father's arm frantically.

Lucius shoved Draco violently away. "You've done enough. Merlin forbid... If that article writes truth, you are not to come near my grandchild and the man who carries it."

"It's my child!"

"The one you nearly killed!" Draco has never seen his father this furious before. His mother's mouth was drawn into a tight line and her eyes were cold and unforgiving.

She looked disapprovingly at Draco and said, "I will come back with news of your family."

"Draco Lucius Malfoy," his father started and Draco stepped backwards as his father pointed his cane at him. "You are forbidden to leave this Manor." A wave of coldness enveloped Draco and he clutched himself. It was a terrible drowning sensation that sent waves of anxiety and fear down his throat and forced Draco to slump to his knees on the cold floor. He could do nothing but raise his head and watch his parents walk briskly and step into their fireplace. The flames roared a bright green, and they disappeared.

Draco couldn't bring himself to leave his position on the floor, and he couldn't stop the pained sobs. When he finally gathered himself, he wondered if his father's spell had anchored him to that exact spot – or if he was too terrified of the unknown to move. The feelings of fear and anxiety did not leave; instead, they continued to build inside until he thought he would fall into a crazy frenzy.

A few hours passed before Draco saw the familiar green flames roar as his mother stepped elegantly out. She adjusted her robes before walking over to her son. "Stand up!" she commanded when she stopped in front of him. Draco struggled to his feet. He was taller than his mother, but with his slumped posture, he was almost standing eye to eye to her. Her desolate expression twisted his stomach and Draco felt nauseous with fear.

"I have to see him! Mother, please, let me go see him!" he pleaded and grabbed his mother's arms.

She jerked herself away and Draco let out a cry. "You will do no such thing. There were reporters all over the place. For the first time in my life I had to face them alone!"

Draco was confused. Usually his mother stayed in the background and stood behind his father in support while Lucius addressed the media.

Narcissa's expression softened for the shortest second before turning cold. "Harry is indeed pregnant with the next Malfoy heir. Your father is furious. I am furious. Draco, he nearly miscarried. He's lost a lot of blood and his magic is so low we could barely detect it. However, your father is by his side. They needed a Malfoy of direct lineage to give magical aid. Your baby needed it. It was lucky Lucius made it there on time."

"You have to let me see him!" Draco pleaded.

His mother stared hard at him before finally saying, "Harry doesn't want to see you and your father won't let you near him." Her voice was cold and filled with disappointment.

"He doesn't want to see me?"

"He's afraid. Don't take offence; Harry is just protecting his young from further harm." Narcissa reached up and stroked Draco's hair. "After all, you almost cost him his child and his life when you walked out and left him to bleed on your floor."

Draco's mind raced back to the memory, he couldn't remember seeing blood. He couldn't remember seeing much at all except for anger.

"Please, mother." Draco sank to his knees and looked fearfully up, "don't let Harry die. Please, tell me... Did he say anything?"

Narcissa stared down at her son in contempt before finally kneeling down. She pulled him into a hug. "They are doing everything they can. Harry loves you. He told the hospital staff his job brought a great deal of stress. There was a violent altercation on his recent case and he was caught up in it. He claimed he later tripped over the coffee table at home while you were away for business." A moment passed before Narcissa spoke again. "Your husband protected the Malfoy name and your reputation. He lied even to your father. You know how he feels towards your father. He's adamant you did not push him, and that you were not even there. But Draco, bruises do not lie. Terrors in his eyes do not lie. And you do not have a coffee table." She stroked his hair and then pulled him to his feet. "Come now, dragon. Chin up; Malfoy's do not sit on floors." She led him to his seat at the dining table before taking her own opposite him. When she sat, a house elf instantly appeared with a tea set for two. It disappeared as soon as tea was organised.

Draco took a shaky sip before ignoring his cup. They sat in silence for hours until the sun fell beyond the horizon and the clock chimed the final hour of the afternoon. It was then that the flames burst green once again and Lucius stepped out. He looked utterly exhausted and his wife was instantly by his side, helping him to his seat at the head of the table. As soon as he sat, food instantly appeared on the table and house elves scooped servings onto their individual plates.

Lucius pulled out a vial Draco recognised as a Replenishing Potion and tipped it down his throat with shaking hands. His wife put held a goblet of water to his mouth and helped him drink. Draco waited in silence for a healthy colour to return to his father's sickly pale face.

Narcissa set down the goblet and cut a bite sized chunk of ham and brought it to her husband's mouth. Lucius accepted and raised his hand slightly. "Thank you. Please sit. I can take care of myself." His voice was gentle and soft; Draco has always only heard a gentle and soft voice when his father spoke directly to his mother.

Narcissa obediently returned to her seat and started eating. Lucius turned to Draco, "Draco, he is stable now and your child is safe. I have promised to bring you to him tomorrow. However, you will be leaving your wand at home and you will not approach your husband. You will not touch him. You will only watch and you will apologise. You will beg for forgiveness. You will not shame this family. You will not shame Harry Potter. Do you understand, Draco?"

Draco nodded.

"Good. You are fortunate you married a stubborn idiot. If I had even considered raising my hand at your mother while she was pregnant with you, she would have left me instantly and no amount of influence, wealth or threats would have allowed me to find her. Pregnancy with a Pureblood's child is delicate; male pregnancy with a Pureblood's child is downright dangerous. Do you understand? Your husband is a fool, a fool in love."

Draco nodded again.

Lucius scowled. "Speak up, boy! Your mother suffered nine months to bring you into this world. Use that mouth."

"Yes, Father. I understand, Father." Draco said quietly.

His mother cleared her throat, "it's a shame, Draco. Marriage is about compromise; even a marriage with no love can be safe and stable. Don't force me to keep you from your family. Because I will. Your father and I will if you bring harm to that child."

Draco nodded. "Yes, Mother. I understand. It will never happen again."

"Good, now eat! You will sleep after dinner." Lucius commanded. They ate in silence.

The next morning, Lucius flung down the paper just as Draco sat down at the dining table. He jabbed a finger roughly at the page and commanded, "Read it."

Draco picked up the paper and gulped. The headlines screamed and so did the words.

"Your mother has done wonders and your idiotic husband has gone even further!" Lucius snapped. "For the love of Merlin! I cannot understand him! You would be trialled and imprisoned if the Ministry did not believe Harry! Almost destroying a Wizard's pregnancy!"

The article was completely different from the accusations from yesterday. It wrote of Harry's difficult and exhausting pregnancy, the troubles Harry had faced with work and the reluctance of a transfer. It spoke of Draco's distinguished potions and research and the complications of Harry's pregnancy, which had required Draco to leave his husband's side to retrieve the correct ingredients. In his place, his parents were taking care of his pregnant husband.

Unfortunately, as Draco had discovered upon arriving at St Mungo's, hospital staff were sceptical about the news and were reluctant to allow him access. Security was called and stationed outside Harry's private room before Draco was allowed inside. Lucius placed himself next to Harry and Narcissa put a hand on Draco's shoulder to keep him at the foot of Harry's bed.

Draco could see the sickly complexion of his husband's face, weak and pale. Vitals were permanently conjured and hovered above Harry's head. Even to Draco's untrained medical eye, he could see they were weak. His breath caught in his throat and he fought against all instincts to move closer. Instead, he stood and watched as his father placed a hand on Harry's forehead and leaned close.

"Harry," Lucius whispered gently, "I know you're tired, but wake up, Draco is here."

Harry's eyes fluttered open and he gave a small smile. "Hey Malfoy," he said. "You knocked me up."

Draco returned a weak smile. "I'm sorry, Harry, I'm so sorry."

"It's okay, you didn't know." Harry slid a hand out from under the blanket and Draco automatically took a step forward and reached out.

He was stopped instantly by a growl and an invisible barrier. Draco's eyes flicked over to his father. His father's cane was pointed directly at his face. "Do not take a further step, Draco." Lucius said coldly. "You will not touch him."

"He's my husband!" Draco shouted in frustration and cringed when he saw Harry's hand quickly retract under the blanket.

"Lucius, stop," Harry whispered. "You're overreacting."

"I am not," Lucius snapped. "Have you already forgotten what landed you in this bed? I will not have my idiotic spawn bring death to his own child."

Draco clenched his jaw shut and he watched in silence as Harry seemed to sink lower into the bed. Understandable; he himself has experienced moments when he wanted nothing more than to shrink or disappear during Lucius' rage.

"I'm tired," Harry finally decided to say. "Let me sleep."

Instantly, Draco heard the change in Lucius' voice. "Do you need magic?"

"Draco's here, so…" Harry stopped abruptly and hesitated when Lucius drew his lips into a thin, disapproving line. "Or perhaps you could, Lucius…"

Lucius turned back to his son and wife, "You may leave. Harry needs his rest."

Whatever else Harry needed and how he was to receive it, Draco didn't find out as his mother ushered him outside. He clenched his fists in anger. He was the spouse! He should be the one by Harry's side, but his father seemed to have suddenly developed a protective instinct for the man he had once highly disapproved of.

Beside him, his mother reached for his hand and squeezed it. "Your father was the exact same with me when I was pregnant with you. He's just trying to protect you, do try to understand. Nothing is worse than losing your own child. He is just protecting you from experiencing that pain."

Draco fought the urge to spit unceremoniously and allowed himself to be escorted home.

The next few days of Harry's hospitalization, Draco's visitation hours were severely limited into lots of ten minutes by his father. Even the hospital staff had relaxed but his father refused to budge.

In exasperation, Draco shouted when his father continued to throw up the protection barrier every time Draco tried to move closer. "For fuck's sake! He's my husband! Let me touch him!"

Lucius merely narrowed his eyes and commanded him to leave because Draco was distressing Harry.

Draco stood his ground firmly. "No! I should be here for him; you cannot keep me from my family! He needs me!"

"You need to control your temper," Lucius said calmly as Draco continued to disobey.

Finally, Harry threw a pillow across the room at Draco. "If you can't shut up, get out!"

Draco gaped at him in shock. Harry let out a frustrated groan then bent over the side of his bed and vomited. Lucius immediately shoved Draco out the room.

"You can't keep me away from him forever!" Draco shouted at the door, but he knew his father had probably already cast a muffling spell so no amount of shouting would be heard.

The final straw came when Harry was released and Lucius refused to allow him to return to the home he shared with Draco. Lucius put up a strong case. Harry needed support and the occasional magical aid so living at the Manor would allow Narcissa to help as much as possible. Lucius could also "protect him better". Besides, it was only appropriate to allow the grandparents to play a role.

At first, Harry put up a fight and argued he still had a job he had to return to. Lucius silenced him with a look and Harry almost instantly sent an owl to the Auror Office requesting a Leave of Absence.

"You can't keep him a prisoner!" Draco argued the day they arrived back at the Manor.

"I'm not keeping him a prisoner. Harry agrees fully with me that this is for the best."

Draco shot Harry a look as if asking to confirm but Harry merely nodded absentmindedly and rolled his eyes.

"He has a job. He's pregnant, not an invalid!" Draco pressed.

Lucius glared at his son, "And what do you think he does for a job? Do you really expect him to run after Dark Wizards while he is with child?"

"No, but you're being overprotective!"

"And you are not being protective enough!"

"I'm letting him be his own person!" Draco reached out to touch his husband but Harry's eyes flicked nervously to Lucius before allowing contact.

Draco threw up his hands in defeat as Harry tried to hide a smile, "I can work from here, Draco. I have mounds of paperwork to do; it should keep me busy for a while. Besides, your father's right. I can't really go running into the midst of things."

Draco glared at Harry, then at his father. "You're poisoning his mind! Look at him! You've turned him docile!" He let out a frustrated growl and stormed to his room.

Sulking was perhaps, Draco thought, his worst and most childish quality, followed by his habits of running away and jumping to conclusions. Knowing this, however, didn't stop Draco from shrugging his outer robes to the floor before crawling into his bed and pulling the soft covers over his head. He had apologized profusely over the last few days, but his father still tried to keep Harry from getting too close. It unnerved Draco, but he felt like he couldn't do anything. It was his fault, but he could see the strain on Harry's face and surely, that wasn't good for the health of Harry and their baby? Every time Draco made a move to reach out and touch his husband, Harry would automatically close the distance but recoil slightly at the last moment. Each time, Harry's eyes would shift nervously in Lucius' direction as if asking for permission. His father never once voiced his approval; however, that was how Harry would interpret his silence. When Lucius cleared his throat, Harry would reluctantly withdraw himself from Draco and shrink away. That was what irked Draco the most. In the past few days, Draco had seen his father talk gently to Harry or place a soft touch on Harry's arm or shoulder, much like how he used to when Draco was a child.

It was when Draco's cocoon of bedcovers got warmer and more difficult for him to breath that Harry walked into his room. Draco didn't hear Harry knock, but then again, Harry didn't make a habit of making his presence known. Perhaps it was an Auror thing? Regardless, the first thing he noticed of Harry was a snort of muffled scoff behind him. Without looking, he knew it was Harry but Draco ignored his husband. Pregnant or not, he felt slightly betrayed that his husband was hiding behind his father.

"Oh Draco, grow up," Harry sighed, pulled the covers down to expose Draco's head and crawled into bed behind him. He draped an arm over Draco's midriff and in unison, they breathed. "Come now, Draco." Harry's voice was so quiet, Draco almost missed it.

Draco shifted slowly and turned around to face Harry. For a minute, they exchanged nothing and listened instead to their breathing. They watched the gentle rise and fall that accompanied each breath and Draco fixed his gaze on Harry's face. It had been the first time in a very long time since Draco had truly looked at his husband's face. They saw each other every day but Draco was sure Harry's skin was slightly darker than before. Harry still had his glasses on, which made his lashes appear longer than they actually were. Harry's hair was messy, nothing too different, but in their position, it fell towards the pillow over his forehead and covered his scar.

Draco turned up the corners of his lips into a slight smile in an attempt to draw one from Harry. As he predicted, Harry also drew his mouth into a smile and Draco could see the faint laugh lines forming around the corners. Odd, he had never noticed them before but if they were fighting so much, there wouldn't be much chance for Draco to see a smile on Harry's face. Finally, Draco allowed himself to look directly into Harry's green eyes. They were a vibrant green and shined in a cheeky way. Perhaps that was due to the way the light reflected, or perhaps it was Draco's imagination.

Draco suddenly felt the uncontrollable urge to roll his eyes, "Harry," he said softly.

Harry gave a nod of his head.

"You're pregnant," Draco continued. "It's my baby."

Harry gave another nod. "That I am."

"A miracle," Draco breathed out and let his eyes fall closed for a second before he opened them again.

"That it is," Harry replied.

"You love me."

Harry leaned in and kissed Draco's lips quickly. It was warm and soft. A feeling of gentleness washed over Draco and he almost felt like sobbing. He couldn't remember the last time they shared such tender physical contact.

"You love me," Harry repeated and Draco let out a bark of laughter. What odd declarations of love.

"I'm surprised my father is allowing you to share a room with me." Draco said when he stopped laughing. "I was certain he would insist on you staying in your own wing, with your own room and house elf."

Harry chuckled darkly and Draco's smirk slid off his face.

"Oh no," Draco whispered and he couldn't stop his eyes from widening. "You can't be serious."

Harry nodded and suppressed a laugh. "Yeah, I snuck in here to be with you tonight."

Draco reached up and cupped Harry's face. He could see a stark difference between their skin tones. Harry's tanned skin seemed darker than usual against his pale shade. "How are you feeling?"

Harry grinned and rolled his eyes. "I'm pregnant and feeling slightly coddled by your father."

Draco let himself grin before turning serious again. "Come on, love, let's talk serious now."

Harry sighed and Draco caressed Harry's face while Harry gathered his thoughts. Then slowly, Harry turned onto his back and Draco's hand fell away. Almost instantly, Harry grabbed it and moved it down to his stomach.

"I'm almost four months pregnant," Harry murmured. "I didn't even notice this." By Harry's directing hand, Draco flattened his palm against Harry's stomach as they travelled lower.

They stopped just at Harry's navel and Draco drew in a sharp breath. It was faint, but there was a small bump, an irregular feeling on his husband's Auror body.

"I imagined three months would show more," Harry continued absentmindedly.

"I suppose, it's because you're a man," Draco reasoned. "Babes from Wizards are generally smaller."

"Are they?" Harry turned his head to look at Draco and instantly, Draco saw the anxiety and fear swirling in those green eyes.

"What's wrong?" Draco asked. A wave of anxiousness filled him.

"What if there's something wrong? I mean, when Fleur was pregnant, she was drinking so many supplements. And when Angelina was trying to conceive, she was taking preparation potions! I haven't taken anything at all! What if I'm lacking nutrients or whatever…" Harry cut off and turned his head sharply. He fixed an intense gaze at the ceiling. "The Healer only prescribed me one ongoing potion."

"You'll be fine. The Healer said you're doing well, remember?" Draco said, but his hopes of reassuring Harry and quelling the building distress were quickly diminishing with the minutes of silence that followed.

"Harry… are you okay?"

"I was in a lot of pain," Harry suddenly said and Draco fought a wince. Harry turned his head back to face Draco. "I thought I was dying, you know. At first, I thought it was some crazy magical thing to do with our Bond because I seriously believed you were walking out on me." Harry shot Draco a sharp look when Draco raised an eyebrow. "Don't judge me! You know I grew up Muggle! How was I supposed to know not to take "till death do us part" literally? You Wizarding people have surprised me more than once, what with flying cars, wands, broomsticks." Harry smirked and Draco smirked along with him before they let another blanket of seriousness fall over them again.

"I couldn't breathe." Harry said softly. "I thought I was dying. Seriously, Draco. How pathetic, don't you think? Voldemort couldn't kill me but my husband walking out can."

"I wasn't walking out on our marriage," Draco said softly. His voice sounded pathetic, full of regret and guilt.

"I thought you were. That's why the Malfoy family wasn't contacted when I was admitted to hospital."

Draco shook his head. "I was going to cool off."

Harry gave a shrug and Draco scooted closer to pull Harry into an awkward embrace.

"Urg…" Draco started, "How did you get to the hospital?"

Harry winced, "Ah… that… sorry…"

"For what?"

"Well…" Harry looked sheepish and a faint blush came across his face. "Have you been back home ever since?"

Draco shook his head.

"Well, the pain came in waves. So when it wasn't paralyzing, I managed to drag myself to the fireplace. I landed in St Mungo's. I don't remember much after that." Harry paused then continued. "It's probably still there now, the blood, I mean."

A look of horror crossed Draco's face and Harry hastily added, "It wasn't that bad, I mean, the Cruciatus Curse was worse."

Another wave of silence washed over them before Draco suddenly shot up into a sitting position. "Do Weasley and Granger know? I haven't seen them at all! You were all over the Prophet so surely they would care!"

Harry chucked and pulled Draco back down beside him. "Relax, they visited quite often actually. You were just not there. Lucius has a disturbing ability to organize time to his liking. You would never have crossed paths."

"Well, if he let me stay with you for more than ten minutes at a time…" Draco muttered before clearing his voice. "Look, Harry, listen to me. I know you're scared of my father but-"

Harry's scoff cut Draco off. "I'm not scared of your father. He just means well."

Draco let out a tsk. "Well, whatever, whether it's fear or not, if you can't handle it anymore, you must tell me! He's trying to control your life, trust me."

"Perhaps he's the one who's scared," Harry whispered. "I can't help but think; perhaps he's experienced this before, with your mother."

Draco fell silent. It wasn't something that occurred to him and he had never heard his mother speak of such things. "Just please, don't listen his every whim. If you don't want to do something, don't."

"I'm sleeping here tonight, aren't I?" Harry said.

-----

Despite Harry's assurances, Draco could see the strain. There were moments, at first Draco was unsure but after the tenth time, he felt like a failure. Harry and his father talked in hushed voices. Harry waved his arms around in that familiar way Draco knew when he was agitated or irritated and judging by the disapproving look on his father's face, they were probably discussing Draco.

Draco was grateful for magic, and even more so for potions. After Harry was released, there had been two weeks of bliss due to the potions that curbed nausea. That is, until Draco came home one day at the beginning of Harry's fourth month to see his mother supporting his vomiting husband while his father supervised the restoration of their dining room Harry's magic must have destroyed. The entire bathroom was filled with volatile magic and Draco was furious. The potions ceased effect after the two weeks and Harry's fourth month of pregnancy was terrible for everyone. When he wasn't lethargic, he was vomiting. Unfortunately, the baby constantly required more magic. At first, Harry didn't feel comfortable asking Lucius for help so often but when he fainted twice in two hours; he finally gave in and called for Lucius.

Just as Harry neared the end of the fourth month, Draco walked past his father's study and heard their voices in hushed argument.

"Please, you're being over protective! Draco is not stupid!" Draco pressed his ear up to the door and listened.

"I beg to differ," Draco heard his father reply, and he scowled.

"Look, I haven't been home since I got here, and of course I'm grateful for your hospitality but there are things I want to get, and-"

"Nonsense, Draco can get them for you."

"Draco hasn't been home either. He has his lab, and I don't want him to put his life on hold!"

"You seem to have forgotten, Draco works for no one. He can take a break if he chooses to. It's not like you are in dire need of money." At that, Draco rolled his eyes because a sudden image of his father inspecting his nails popped into his head.

"Please, Lucius," Harry said. "I already promised I'll stay here. Just let me go out once in a while. I need to go to the office and drop things off. I want to go out and have a walk about before I can't anymore! I'll go with Draco-"

"Have you already forgotten what happened?" Lucius hissed. "It's true then, the Great Saviour of the Wizarding World has no sense of self-preservation!"

Harry let out a strange noise and Draco thought it was one out of frustration until his father voiced his concern, "Are you well, Harry?"

At that point, Draco gave a quick knock on the door and opened it. His eyes swept the room, Harry had one arm around his stomach and the other was rubbing the bridge of his nose.

"Father. Harry." Draco gave a nod of acknowledgment and walked stiffly to Harry.

As Draco reached his husband, his face fell when Harry instinctively stepped away towards Lucius. Harry put up a hand. "I'm fine!" He snapped. "I have a headache."

"Well, perhaps you should lie down." Draco narrowed his eyes as he watched Lucius' hand settle gently on Harry's lower back and Harry leaned into it.

"For fuck's sake, Lucius!" Harry snapped and flung his hand down. It missed hitting Draco in the thigh. A surge of magical energy erupted from Harry and the windows behind Lucius shattered. "Fuck!" Harry cursed. "I'm sorry!" He drew out his wand and pointed it at the glass.

Lucius lifted a hand. "Don't worry about it. You need to conserve your magic and calm down. You must stay calm for the baby."

"I'm trying!" Harry snapped and when Draco picked up his hand, Harry jerked away and recoiled. There was an instant flash of regret, "Draco, I'm sorry, I didn't…" Harry paled and dashed out of the room.

Draco turned on his father and snapped, "Could you just lay off him? I see what you're doing! You're turning him on me! He can barely allow me to touch him anymore without skirting around it! He hesitates and when you're around, he looks at you for permission! That's sick, Father!"

"Perhaps that boy has finally grown some brains." Lucius sneered at his son in disdain.

Draco threw up his hands and stormed out of the room to find his husband.

-----

Living at the Manor was difficult for them both. Harry alternated between agitated, irritated and a disturbing calm. Draco was almost certain that strange display of calm was due to a potion his father secretly fed Harry.

Two weeks into the fifth month, with no contact from either Weasley or his Granger (married but Draco liked to distinguish), Draco finally (reluctantly) admitted something was odd and made his way back to their home. The sight his eyes laid upon as soon as he stepped out of the fireplace was a shock. There was a trail of dried blood across the length of the room towards the door. Then the smell hit him; the room was covered in a musty smell, decorated with a heavy, rancid smell with a coppery tinge. It made his stomach flip and he flicked his wand to open the windows wide. When five Tergeos and even more Scourgifies didn't quite get all the blood out, Draco stomped into his lab and retrieved a blue bottle from his stash. He tipped the contents over the remaining stains. There was a sizzling sound and Draco watched in satisfaction as the potion, along with the lifted stains evaporated.

That was the moment Draco noticed the angry blinking red light from Harry's weird Muggle telephone. Harry had insisted on that particular piece of technology. With an unsure finger stretched out, Draco inched closer until he finally pressed the button.

"You have 45 new messages," an odd voice sounded. It was the first time Draco had heard it and it gave him a fright. He had no idea the device could speak!

"Harry! Why didn't you tell us you were released?! Call me!" The first was Granger, frantic and high strung. Draco deleted it and let the machine proceed.

"Harry!" Granger again. "Where are you? Are you okay? Call me!"

"Harry!" This time it was Weasley, "Where are you? We tried coming but your Floo was blocked! Did you change your wards? We couldn't get in through the doors either!"

Draco frowned, he didn't change the wards, and he just came through by Floo!

"Harrrry!!" This time, Granger's voice was slightly whiny. "This isn't funny anymore! Molly's worried sick! Are you taking the potion? Molly's got some supplements if you'd like them, although Draco would probably insist on brewing them himself…" Draco smiled. Granger knew him well enough to guess correctly. "Please, Harry, contact us!"

"For Merlin's sake, mate, just because you've been knocked up doesn't mean you can ditch your friends!" Weasley's irritated voice was the next message. "Boss is really upset; you've got the whole Office up in a roar. Lucius sent an owl the other day threatening to take legal action. You can imagine me rolling my eyes right now. Even if they were empty threats (although I don't doubt Lucius' ability), but it still sent everyone else into a panic! Boss thinks he was the catalyst to your near miscarriage and if you had told him why you wanted to change departments, he would have agreed instantly! Call us."

Draco stopped the machine and deleted them all; there was no doubt what the rest of them were. He walked to the fireplace and chucked a pinch of powder into the flames. Almost instantly after connection, Granger's worried face popped up. "Draco! Where is he? How is he doing? He hasn't… lost… it, has he?"

"No, he's fine." Draco peered down. "Why don't you come over? I'll take you to him."

"We can't! It's blocked for us; it's been blocked ever since he was in the hospital! We couldn't even get in to clean up your place!"

"Oh, that's fine, I've just cleaned it."

At Granger's odd expression, Draco continued, "We've been living at the Manor, I've just come back to pick up some stuff. Father is adamant we live there. Why don't you head over to the Manor? I'll meet you there."

"We can't do that either! That's been blocked too!"

Draco narrowed his eyes. "You mean to tell me…"

Granger nodded before he finished.

"Damn that old man!" Draco cursed. "I thought it was strange you two didn't bombard the Manor!" Draco gave the floor a pointless kick and muttered to himself, "Never underestimate Lucius Malfoy. You don't serve the Dark Lord and not know property protection wards as strong as Gringotts."

"Draco…" Granger interrupted his thoughts.

"Hm? Oh yes, I'll get it sorted out. I'll Owl you later. Perhaps you can finally visit Harry. He's been very moody."

Granger nodded eagerly, "Oh and you might want to deal with the pile of mail on your doorstep. None of the owls could get in so there's a growing pile."

Draco waved her away and made his way to the front door. As soon as he opened it, a flush of letters tumbled into the house. Draco stared down at the pile in annoyance before Banishing them from existence. He didn't have time to deal with mail when he had a bone to pick with his father about visitation rights for Harry's friends.

-----

The rest of the fifth month was much the same and Draco was anxious. Harry was having a difficult pregnancy and Draco couldn't help but wonder if it was due to the near miscarriage. His husband was now required to have supplements and nutrients administered intravenously because of his appetite problems. The need for magical aid increased to the point where Lucius was also in a constant state of exhaustion and he finally gave in and allowed Draco to step in. His father went as far as to hire a live in Healer, and although that wasn't completely necessary, Draco was secretly pleased.

As the months passed and the pregnancy progressed, Draco's anxiety levels increased. Harry had slowly warmed back up to Draco and no longer hid behind Lucius. His eyes stopped flicking nervously at Lucius every time Draco moved closer, nor did he hesitate to allow Draco to touch his growing stomach. Eventually, his father allowed frequent visits from Granger and Weasley. It was however, odd to have the two in Malfoy Manor and interacting pleasantly with Narcissa. It took a while longer to warm up to Lucius but he had long accepted the people his son-in-law chose to be friends with.

It wasn't until the beginning of the ninth month when Harry was permanently hospitalized as a precaution, that Draco realized they had not had a serious argument for half a year. He was sitting on the uncomfortable armchair next to his sleeping husband and staring out the window. There were warm yellow rays hitting the floor and the sky was blue with no clouds. The trees outside swayed gently and Draco could almost smell the fragrance of spring.

Draco smiled lazily and allowed himself a moment of fantasy. They were going to be parents for the first time and judging from his parents' actions for the past six months; they were going to be active and loving grandparents. His father had accepted Harry into the Malfoy family and Draco no longer feared his child would experience the same darkness and anxiety while growing up. They were going to have a loving family, a warm home and grandparents who would do anything for the happiness of their youngest family member. Draco fantasized about taking his baby for walks on the beach with his husband. He fantasized about bringing the child to the Muggle amusement parks his parents refused to take him to (Draco could still hear his father's voice, 'no Malfoy will taint himself with such places'. Well, the child would be half a Potter so Draco thought it would be fine). He fantasized about having holidays without the disguise of serving a psychotic Dark Wizard. He fantasized about family picnics in parks and family camps in giant national reserves. He even dared to dream about his father joining in such mundane activities. Most of all, he fantasized about a healthy and happy child.

"Draco," Harry's soft voice dragged Draco reluctantly out from his daydreams. "What are you thinking about?"

"Oh just this and that," Draco said and gave an airy wave of his hand. "You know, we haven't actually discussed the naming of the child."

Harry shifted and gave a low laugh, "I don't suppose it matters. Lucius and Molly have fought over it enough. If their suggestions aren't terrible, I don't mind whatever name."

"Should we get a baby unicorn? Let them grow up together?"

"You're joking," Harry said as he stared at Draco in disbelief. "Where are we going to keep a unicorn?"

"At the Manor," Draco smiled dreamily. "I've always wanted a pet…"

Lucius walked into the room at that point, "Harry, how are you doing? How is my grandchild?"

Harry rolled his eyes. "Your grandchild is fine, a bit active but I'll manage. And Draco, we are not spoiling our child, Malfoy. I was grateful for food when I was a kid."

Draco pulled a face. "Well, our child isn't going to be deprived. Only the best of the best will be acceptable."

Lucius nodded in agreement as he settled down on the other side of Harry's bed. "I hope it's a girl."

A silence filled the room as Harry stared incredulously at his father-in-law. Ever since his Bond with Draco, he had assumed Lucius wanted a boy to carry on the Malfoy name.

"Don't be so shocked!" Lucius caught the looks on their faces. "Of course I would like a boy, but if you cannot have more children, I would like a little granddaughter to spoil."

"We will have more!" Harry declared strongly.

Lucius looked sceptical. "You should know by now, Pureblood pregnancies by Wizards are dangerous. I'm surprised you've made it this far without being hospitalized earlier than now."

"I'm Harry Potter. I make the impossible possible."

At that, Draco allowed a silly grin to grace his face. It made him appear boyish and harmless and he finally let himself fantasize about a family with two boys and a girl running around them, throwing tantrums and ganging up together against their parents, begging for useless toys, pointless broomstick upgrades, refusing to complete homework and if Harry and Draco stood firmly against their children's pleas, Draco could see his future children sneaking behind their backs and coaxing things out of their grandparents. But for now, Draco returned to his fantasies and prayers for a healthy, happy child. If they managed that despite all the arguments, fights and difficulties, surely they could have more.




[ ♥ Please return to LJ HERE and
leave your comment for the author. ♥ ]